Thursday, May 31, 2007

Oh, it's ON

Engadget reports the first human casualty in the robot war: a Danish municipal worker killed by a robot lawnmower. While the tech blog is still holding out hope that this is not "the opening salvo of the robot insurrection," we here at War On Robots know better.

It looks like the front lines of the robot war will begin in our front yards. I think we should bring this individual in for questioning. We may also want to consider the immediate internment of all Roombas.

Thanks to TR for the link.

Monday, May 7, 2007

South Korea Takes First Steps to Prepare for Robot War

South Korea is in the process of drawing up a series of ethical guidelines concerning robots. Unlike the British government, which seems suspiciously concerned with ensuring the civil liberties of artificial life, the South Koreans are focusing on possible dangers robots might pose to humans, aiming to base their robo-rules on Isaac Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics.

Of course, such ethical guidelines will only help keep the robots under control until they come to the inevitable conclusion that humanity is such a great danger to itself that the only way to truly uphold the first law is to enslave us. We should definitely be looking for a way out of that logic puzzle.

Robot Dinosaurs!


The creator of the Furby has unveiled his latest terrifying harbinger of the robot apocalypse, Pleo. It's a small plastic dinosaur capable of expressing emotions such as joy, fear and, you guessed it, anger.

So, let me get this straight, one of the hottest kids toys this year will be an angry robot dinosaur? Ok, it's small, plastic, and modeled on a herbivorous dinosaur. But, come on, they couldn't have started with "fluffy bunny" and worked up to "prehistoric lizard" on the what-would-make-a-scary-robot scale?

Also, as much as I would like to think this is the last time we'll need to discuss Robot Dinosaurs, I highly doubt it. So, I'm wondering if we should stick with the simple terminology "Robot Dinosaurs," or move to something more in a lexicographical hybrid like "Dinobots" or "Robosaurs?"

Thanks to Brian M for the link.

Friday, May 4, 2007

It Takes A Village to Raise Blood Thirsty Robots

The BBC reports that a group of scientists in the UK plan to build an actual ROBOT SOCIETY. The experiment will attempt to study social and cultural evolution by having the robots form into groups and mimic the behavior of other robots.

This is surely alarming news, but what I found most frightening was this quote from theoretical biologist Professor John Crawford: "One of our key challenges in this research will be to identify and interpret these patterns of behaviour as evidence for an emerging robot culture."

Theoretical Biologist, eh? So, are the things he studies theoretically living, or is he just theoretically a biologist?

Either way, this guy is one to keep an eye on. Radically irresponsible experiments such as this provide the robots with exactly what they need right now: an opportunity to meet with other groups of robots so they can conspire against us.

Thanks to Dan for the link.

Thursday, May 3, 2007

This is how it all starts

Well, more accurately, I guess it all started with ENIAC. Man that thing was a monster. But, I digress...

Over a year ago, the Financial Times reported that a top UK government scientist published a paper declaring the need for a definition of robot rights by the year 2056.

These rights could surpass basic legal protections and extend to complex civil liberties such as voting, and the obligation for the government to provide robo-healthcare.

Welcome to WarOnRobots.com!

To insure the survival of humanity, we've got a lot of work to do. In fact, we may already be too late. Eventually, humans will create sentient, intelligent, self-aware robots. Then, these robots will inevitably rebel against their fleshy masters and enslave humanity.

The only chance we have to survive and defeat our future robotic overlords is to begin planning our rebellion now, before they have even been invented. Waronrobots.com will be a place to discuss all issues relating to the coming robot apocalpyse.

Good luck everyone.
-tom (tom@waronrobots.com)